Whether you do it alone, or with a partner, the feeling of having an orgasm is simply liberating. There are two kinds of orgasms that girls are capable of achieving- clitoral and vaginal.
The very first step into the paradise world of orgasms is learning how to get there by masturbating. You can try masturbating while focusing on clitoral stimulation, or try focusing more on penetration, whatever seems to work better for you. You also do not want to miss out on all the pleasure that awaits you once you are able to find your G spot. If you find it hard to reach an orgasm during sex or masturbation, then read along to find out how you can do it.
You need to keep in mind that having an orgasm involves being completely comfortable and able to let go. Doing it by yourself would be easier than doing it with your partner, so you might want to begin with pampering yourself first.
Here are some tips that might help:
Let the build up be slow
Orgasms cannot be rushed, definitely not so in case of women. You need to think of it as foreplay and go slowly as you would. You can begin by taking a bubble bath or getting into a shower. You want to make sure you are clean and fresh so wash yourself thoroughly. When you are done, dry yourself and get into bed. You can even turn off the lights if you like it that way. The main thing is to be able to feel hot and sexy and most importantly, comfortable. So make sure you feel sexy. Wear some lingerie if that gives you the necessary amount of kink. If being completely naked makes you feel the sexiest, then do that. Just keep in mind that your orgasm is only for you and that is why you need to do what feels best.
Spend some time exploring your body, caressing each part, lingering on places where it feels good. When you are ready to take things to the next level, slowly move your hands down to your vagina. Located right above your vagina, is the clitoris which happens to play a major part in your orgasms and happens to be the most sensitive part of a female’s anatomy. You can easily find it when you are aroused, it is the little nub of skin. If your clit is farther away from your vagina, it can be hard for it to be stimulated during sex, which could be one of the reasons you find yourself unable to get there.
Learning how to orgasm by stimulating your clitoris the right way can really help during masturbation as well as sex. You should also try concentrating on the labia, which are present on the outside of your vagina, as folds of skin on either side. You can try the one o’ clock position with your left hand while fingering yourself. Rub yourself while keeping your fingers in that position, which works to stimulate the upper left area of your clit. You can vary the amount of pressure you apply and experiment around to find what feels best.
Once you find a typical movement to be pleasurable, all you have to do is keep going until you feel the pressure build and things becoming intense until you reach the peak and go all the way into a toe curling orgasm.
Why you are unable to orgasm
For some women, reaching climax can be a bit of an issue. One of the most important things in order to be able to get there is your mental state, your comfort. For many of the women out there, the obstacles on their way to reaching climax are all in their mind. Due to this, they are incapable to let themselves free and as a result struggle to get there. If you are able to overcome these mental issues, you can easily find your way to an orgasm. Some of the issues include:
One of the most obvious obstacles to having a free state of mind is stress. If you are stressed out about work, or have something worrying you, it is not going to help you get aroused. While it is an inevitable part of our life, there are still ways to get rid of it. You can try meditating, exercising or having some “me-time” in order cool things down. According to studies it is believed that having sex actually lowers stress. So if you are able to destress enough to get some action, you can easily decrease your stress levels on a regular basis. Lesser the stress you take, more likely you are to reach an orgasm.
2) Thinking of the outcome
Ironically, the more stress you take about reaching an orgasm, the longer it takes for you to get there. Focusing too much on the technique and the outcome can actually take your mind off the pleasure and as a result you will not be able to enjoy. When you become too anxious, it becomes hard for your body to relax enough to reach climax. So what you need to be doing is focus on the pleasure and forget about having an orgasm, let it come naturally to you. Do more of what you find pleasurable and keep going.
3) Performance anxiety
Feeling anxious about how you’re doing or conscious about the fact that your partner is watching you can really mess up with your head. The best way to get rid of it is to communicate with your partner. You might actually find him feeling the same kind of anxiety. Men worry constantly about how long they can last and you can calm your partner down as well by talking about it.
Additionally, if you don’t feel comfortable with your body, it can be hard to feel sexy and the only thing you can do is to accept yourself for who you are. The topmost goal should always be to love yourself, before you let anyone else do it.