The female orgasm lasts around 15 seconds at best. Characterised by contractions and a giant flood of sensations, it’s a beautiful thing to happen to any woman. But penetrative sex often doesn’t do the job of triggering an orgasm in females. So if you happen to value your girl’s orgasm and want to please her in a way that she isn't likely to forget, the Extended Sexual Orgasm technique is for you. Developed after years of research and clinical work by doctors Alan and Donna Brauer, the technique aims at exploring the mental and physical aspects of sex. And because this article is only going to talk about one of the many things in their book titled ‘Eso: How You and Your Lover Can Give Each Other Hours of Extended Sexual Orgasm’, I would suggest you actually buy the book. The advice the book offers is quite simple, about communicating with your partner about what you want and don’t want and uses exercises to apply these principles. If you’re looking to rebuild or strengthen your relationship, look no further and read this right away.
1. Your lady must first indulge in some solo preparation. This involves eliminating stress and embracing pleasure. According to sexologists, many women resist pleasure rather than embrace it. Thinking positively about sex helps in realigning her mentality towards it. Once that’s done, she should engage in Kegel exercises. These help in strengthening her pelvic floor. Squeeze, hold and then release the same muscles that are used to control the flow of urine. They can be done at any time of the day. Finally, she should start pleasuring herself more. Masturbation would help her realize what works for her and what doesn’t.
2. Get your partner to lie down and relax. Either seat yourself or kneel beside her and get some lubricant on your fingers. Apply this to the whole of her vagina and perineum, teasing and stroking it lightly for a minimum of five minutes. Don’t touch the clitoris or stick your fingers inside at all. Then stimulate her clitoris by drawing slow circles around it with your index finger. She should be telling you what kind of movements she wants. Ask her to start doing the Kegels while you’re stimulating the clitoris. Make sure she’s breathing deeply. When she feels an orgasm approaching, you should be observing her vagina and looking out for the two-second contractions that occur in her genital area. Once these contractions start, stop stimulating her clitoris and switch over to stroking the inner walls of her vagina. You can either push your fingers in or move them in slow deliberate circles, in and out of the vaginal entrance.
3. After her first orgasm, the vagina would draw back. But since the ESO aims at prolonging the contractions, you should keep your fingers inside the vagina. Stroke gently until she wants more speed or pressure. This should trigger another set of contractions while you continue to stimulate the inner vaginal walls. Once you observe that she’s going to cum again, move to her clitoris, circling and stroking it as before. This should ideally set off another series of contractions, which means you should go back to stimulating the inner vaginal walls again. Switch between clitoral and vaginal stimulation until the contractions are occurring every 1-5 seconds.
Continue doing this for 15 minutes and the contractions should become more and more constant while the vagina draws away less and less. When the vagina pulses out in a frequent wave-like motion, you would have reached the last stage. Position yourself to stimulate her clitoris and vagina simultaneously with both your hands. This would result in multiple orgasms for her.
Once you’ve mastered the art of prolonging her orgasm using your hands, its time to gain expertise in this through the art of cunnilingus. Cuz lets face one truth first. Men don’t spend enough time going down on their partners and even if they do, they always end up going straight for the hot-spots which is a safe road but they end up ignoring other erogenous zones of her body. Some women prefer a prolonged build-up to an orgasm and some prefer one wave after wave of orgasm. Talk to her and find out what she wants and then proceed.
1. Most of the women tend to enjoy oral sex when it involves all of their body. So explore her body with your hands and mostly your tongue. Get creative and surprise her by licking different parts down there, not just the vagina. Next, instead of licking her vagina or clit up and down, vary the speed with which your tongue is working on her. By changing pace, you are lessening the chances of her orgasming too quickly.
2. Tease her a bit. Even if she begs you to use your hands, don’t. A touch of denial goes a long way in building up to an amazing release. Depriving her of the pleasure will make her more eager. If she’s into it, you can also touch yourself in front of her.
3. You can also interrupt the act, to do small intimate gestures, like kissing her passionately or making furrows in her hair or drinking some wine. And then start from the beginning again. The pause will delay her orgasm. But be careful to not take a long break, like grabbing a bite to eat or watching TV, cuz that kills the mood apart from making you look like an idiot.
4. Talk to her in between to check if she likes what you are doing. Involve her by asking if there’s anything particular she has in mind and, proceed to do that. This will distract her a bit. And when she least expects it, speed up the movements of your tongue. Take cues from her body language to know if she is approaching orgasm. And if she’s pulling your head closer to her vagina, keep doing whatever it is you have been doing so far and the orgasm that hits her should hopefully encourage her to return the favor.